Thank you for coming. Here are some simple tips for your enjoyment. This is just a taste of all that’s to come. Some of these topics I plan to revisit and go in to further detail in the future. Please sit back and enjoy.
1) How to tame facial hair.
Now facial hair has more cuticle layers than head hair. So first thing first, we need to soften those extra layers. The best way is to get a comb (cheap, black, plastic, 4-inch comb that you can get for forty cents anywhere; never leave home without it.) and comb in some lemon juice. Do this for about 2 weeks the first time you do it. Lemon juice can lighten hair though. In my case, I have naturally blond head hair and brown facial hair, so I like the lightening properties. Lemon juice needs light, however to lighten. So simple, if you wish to lighten facial hair, do this step in the morning, if not, do it in the evening. Be sure to wash out the lemon juice every night or you'll end up with lemon curd on your face. Next step. Condition. After the cuticle layers become penetrable, you can condition. Get a good conditioner (it doesn't have to be expensive, but the cheapest stuff doesn't work well). Simply put in conditioner every time you shower and then rinse it out afterwards. After a while, you'll notice your facial hair get softer and easier to tame.Step three. If you have any problems with wild curls or are striving for a certain style, get some moustache wax. It's not carried many places, but check your drug store. Throw out the brush it comes with; it's worthless. Use both your fingers and your black comb. Easy easy. Also, the less you use the better. It’s much easier to add more than it is to take some away.After the initial time, it'll be easier. Keep conditioning your facial hair every shower, and just do the lemon juice once or twice a week. Easy easy.
2) How to fix hat hair.
Now every gentleman knows how important it is to wear a hat when out in public (ask me about hats!). However, it's also very rude to wear a hat when your final destination is reached. Oh no! What about hat hair! Though a well fitted hat does give you less of a chance of having hat hair, it does happen sometimes. Sometimes you just have to live with it... at least for a while. If you go to a restaurant, unless you have to wait for your table (a perfect time to escape to a lavatory to perfect your coif), do not leave until after drinks are ordered. Then you can go and fix your hair. Since I tend to go without product, fixing hat hair is easy. I take out my trusty comb, comb my hair on the opposite direction and then comb it back. It won’t be perfect, but it'll get you through the evening with much more style than a flat hat head.
3) For the bespectacled gentleman
Though there are many places on the internet where you can get antique replica frames meant for a modern-sized head. These places include focusers.com and eyeglass.com (particularly
http://www.eyeglass.com/perfectlyround.html ). Cool as these may be, you do run in to the problem of it's not an actual place. You cannot try them on before hand; there is no one there to adjust them to fit your face, and it's much more difficult to ask specific questions. However, all is not lost. I recently went to Lenscrafters and bought a new pair of glasses that have a very Victorian style. Good brands to look for are Chaps and D&G, and they will actually end up about the same price as a pair of replica windsors. Things to keep in mind: wire frames are best, oval, round, or the rare hexagonal are traditional, so steer away from rectangular.
4) Clothing
Now men run in to the problem of having a lack of clothing to chose from for his neo-victorian lifestyle. Internet searches will quickly become frustrating. Tip number one; learn to sew. Get a good sewing machine (or sew by hand, which people had done for thousands of years), Hobby Lobby often has sales on their Simplicity patterns, look in the books in the costumes section and there are numerous Victorian costumes to chose from (this is a good tip for our ladies as well). Also, get cheap clothes from a thrift store and practice altering. You will be glad you did. Eventually you will be able to make your own patterns and clothes from scratch.And if you've completely given up (it happens), don't lose hope. Though there are few Victorian gentleman's clothing stores online (and even les in the real world), my favorite I've found is gentlemansemporium.com. Absolutely stupendous.
5) Essentials
Always have a black comb no matter what your hair style. It fits easily into pretty much every pocket but a fob pocket. Handkerchiefs are forever useful whether you have a cold, need to wipe off your hands, bicycle seat, whatever, you need to cover your mouth from noxious fumes, whatever. Depending upon your look, and handkerchief can be worn in a breast pocket (of a jacket, never of a shirt), a back pocket (but do be aware that some people do apply sexual definitions to handkerchiefs in back pockets), or around the neck. Also, one way to be quite posh is to get a monogram in the corner, which can be quite cheap (or do it yourself for just buck or two). Hats are a necessity. Top hats can often be too pretentious for most men. Derbies/bowlers are a good choice for many, and flat caps or ascot caps are great for everyday wear. If you are lucky enough to have a local hat shop, make friends with the people there, you will be glad you did (also make friends with Scotchguard). You need a pocket watch. You can spend anything from $20 to $2000 on a watch. Cheap ones are great, and you can get multiples. Make friends with a shoe repair man; he is much more useful than you think. Always have a lint roller. I keep one by the front door and one at work. Last but not least, have calling cards. They can be as simple or as complicated as you desire. There are many places where you can get Victorian replica calling cards, but for a cheap solution, look for cheap or free business cards (vistaprint.com) and choose something simple.
6) Jut some good advice.
Remember little details are what makes a man from ordinary to extraordinary, so try to find those fun details and try to notice them in others (and compliments are nice too). Have fun, and be yourself so matter what level of Steampunk/Neo-Victorian that brings you. Last but not least, do take into consideration that we don't actually live in the Victorian era, so you don't have to be perfectly in character, and you CAN have modern amenitiesI hope you enjoyed this, and if you have any questions or want me to go into further detail, just comment. I hope everyone has enjoyed this enough to tell their friends.
That is all,
The Notorious Dr. Dietrich
